Narcissism, anonymity and the decline of real connection
What started as a platform for connection is now a breeding ground for narcissism, trolling, and performative outrage. A 2017 study in Computers in Human Behaviour linked excessive social media use with narcissistic personality traits, especially the need for admiration and approval. Over the past decade, the average person’s daily screen time has surged to more than 6.5 hours (I bet that’s low), and nearly half of teens now say they are online “almost constantly”. It’s no wonder the digital mirror has become the main stage.
At the same time, anonymity gave rise to keyboard warriors, people who say things online they’d never dare say to someone’s face. No consequences. No accountability. And as people spend more time online, meaningful, face-to-face interaction continues to decline. According to a 2021 Harvard study, social media is contributing to record-high levels of loneliness, especially among young adults. We’re “connected” to thousands of people, but we’re more isolated than ever.
We’ve never faced a threat like this before
Unlike alcohol or cocaine, you don’t ingest social media. You tap it, you scroll it, you swipe it. But it triggers the same dopaminergic brain activity. Brain scans show social media lights up the brain as opioids do. But there’s no rehab for Instagram. No 12-step programme for TikTok. We’ve never dealt with something this addictive, this widespread, and this intangible.
We don’t fully understand the damage we’re doing or the long-term impact on an entire generation. A CBS News report notes that brain changes in addicted internet users mirror those seen in people addicted to alcohol, cocaine, and opioids. A Nature Communications study found similar grey matter alterations across cocaine, cannabis and alcohol use.
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How do we fight back?
We need a two-pronged approach: government regulation and better platforms. Some countries are beginning to act. Australia has banned social media for children under 16. That’s a step in the right direction.
Following Australia’s lead, Malaysia is now considering similar restrictions to protect children from the psychological and social harms of social media. The Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission recently confirmed that it is studying a proposal to raise the minimum social-media age from 13 to 16, citing growing concerns about youth mental health, cyberbullying, and exposure to explicit or manipulative content.
It acknowledges that developing brains are simply not built to handle the addictive reward loops, social comparison, and emotional volatility these platforms exploit. A 16-year old ban doesn’t solve everything, but it buys time. Time for education, conversation, and resilience to form before exposure. The science is clear: every extra year of delayed exposure to social media correlates with lower rates of anxiety, depression and online victimisation. Both Malaysia and Australia’s willingness to confront this truth signals a cultural maturity that many nations are still struggling to find.
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A new kind of platform is possible
We don’t need censorship. We need accountability. People should be free to say what they want, but not anonymously. You want to express a view? Fine. Put your name on it. In a Pew survey, 84% of social-media users said people post things online they’d never dare say face-to-face. Anonymity breeds abuse. Verification creates responsibility.
Now imagine a different kind of social media: One where opposing views are debated constructively. One that promotes face-to-face, voice-based, real interaction. One that combats loneliness, not profits from it. One where every user is verified, and every discussion is civil by design. One with AI filters that flag fabricated videos before they can go viral. That’s not a fantasy. That’s a blueprint. That’s where we need to go.
Now enter AI: Pouring gasoline on the fire
As if the situation wasn’t volatile enough, AI has now entered the chat and it’s not just accelerating the problem; it’s transforming it entirely. AI can now generate realistic deepfake videos, synthetic voices, and convincing images of events that never happened. And it’s all just a few clicks away.
A teenager in a bedroom can create a fake political video that fools millions. A malicious actor can deploy thousands of AI chatbots to spread propaganda with no human oversight. According to a 2024 Unesco report, AI-generated disinformation is “the fastest-growing threat to media integrity in history”. And these tools are getting more powerful every month. In conclusion, they built a digital empire without a moral blueprint. What began with good intentions has become a harbinger of division, a falsifier of truth, and a digital drug we don’t know how to put down.
Now, AI is amplifying the chaos, blurring reality itself. But we can still fix it. We can evolve it. We need to bring the social back into social media. We need to stop chasing clicks and start designing for connection, empathy, and mental well-being because the future of our mental health, our politics, our culture and our kids depends on.
Michael Helfman is an entrepreneur, writer, and filmmaker exploring the human condition in an age defined by technology and transformation
